Lessons from the Parent of a Retired Collegiate Athlete

Proud of my retired athlete

 

One of the greatest things I saw during the 2024 Olympic coverage wasn’t world athletes smashing records, or the USWNT taking back that Gold (that was pretty damn awesome), but it was Hyundai's commercial “It’s Ok”. The company shines a spotlight on youth sports and children’s inner emotional struggles surrounding their current sport. I have linked the commercial below and urge you to take 60secs to watch it. Spoiler alert: the kids pictured are burnt out, afraid of disappointing their parents, and have lost the love of their sport. As summer is coming to a close, I am seeing the high school & college athletic fields fill up with student athletes training and preparing for fall sport tryouts. I’ll be honest, it makes me nostalgic for my own days logging hours of training on the field hockey and lacrosse field. However, as the parent of a retired college soccer player, I am reminded of everything that I learned the day my daughter Marleigh told me she was changing colleges and ending her 14 year soccer career. Were Karl and I devastated? I wouldn’t use that word, as it clearly implies disappointment. We were sad! Sad because we absolutely loved “to watch you play” as we would shout from the sidelines. We watched her pick flowers & eat oranges on the field as a 5yo all the way to her sprinting behind & catching a left elbow in the eye from a sasquatch of a player in U18 club soccer. Poor baby still has a damn scar above her eye from that broad! We really did LOVE to watch her play. She was freaking good, real good. Marleigh was always the first to the field, the one helping her fellow teammates, and she hustled her ass off every single minute of training. But…

This is what Burn Out looks like

 She got burnt out! The love of the game and the sport had drifted away little by little over the years. I absolutely do not miss the days of her coming home from a game in tears because she felt like she let her Coach down. Or the phone calls from college telling me that the Coach was once again going to start the girl that did drugs & partied every night over her, even though they both performed the same on the field. The three of us had these dreams that things were going to be different for her as a college student athlete. But the coach sucked, the teammates didn’t look out for each other or put in effort on the soccer field. Backdoor team politics still reigned. She was done, and you know what, so were we! We all have to remember that youth sports are big business. Parents shell out thousands of dollars on club travel teams, private training sessions, and six figure student loan debt just so these kids go on to the next level in their sport. Colleges & Universities profit off of bodies on the field and butts in the seats. Rosters of 100+ kids equal … $5,500,000.00 in tuition for the average D3 private school teams. Let’s not even talk about the craziness of D1 athletics. With the new school year upon us, let us remember to take time out to actually TALK to our kids about their participation in athletics. Have a stress-free conversation about how they feel about the sport they are playing. Do they still enjoy themselves? Is there something else out there that they have always wanted to try but were afraid to let you down? Tell them that you are PROUD of them no matter what they do. Signing a full ride athletic scholarship at a Big 10 school, amazing. Stepping away from a sport they have grown to hate to take up Art, also awesome. As a parent, we should be proud no matter what they pursue. Let’s get away from the language of “quitting” and maybe try “moving on from” or “trying something new” and our family’s personal favorite, “retired”.

I know that I am incredibly proud of my retired soccer player, and I always make sure that my kid knows that. Do I make comments about missing soccer every now and then when a picture of her playing shows up on the tv photo slideshow, of course I do. But today I enjoy spending time with my daughter doing different things (Yay Ultras), and keep my fingers crossed for some athletic grandkids. Because you know Granny Jill is gonna get HYPE on that sideline!